I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
