your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
