Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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