Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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