if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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