Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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