apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
