Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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