you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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