Me. At least after what I've been through.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
