Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
