No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
