Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
