it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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