dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I got inside last night via doggy door
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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