Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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