TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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