so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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