we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
