this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Drunk is not a location!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
