I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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