I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
