The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
