I must be too annoying 4 u.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
