dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
