She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I understand Curling. That high.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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