i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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