I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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