I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
