i was born a porn star she said
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
