All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
