I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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