What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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