So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
