You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
