I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Randomize
