Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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