Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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