I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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