Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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