Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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