woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
