on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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