he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
