I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
