We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
