This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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