If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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