Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
