I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
