I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
