You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
