Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
