dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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